The Date of Doom
by Melony Mutou2
Summary: Joey and Mai go on a date? Mai plans to win Joey's affections. Will it work or will havoc and mischief be too much for her? TONS of Mai bashing, if you like Mai, do not read. Warning: This is bashing MxJ relationships - one-sided MxJ -COMPLETE-
1. The Date Begins!

okay, this is just a story I wrote on my gaia journal thing, and I thought it was kinda funny so I decided to put it up. Yes, it's not finished yet, and I'm getting on that right now. X3 lol

The sun shone over the town of Domino brightly. A blonde 18-year-old sat upon the branch of a tree in the park. Below him, blue jays gathered, retrieving bugs and other sorts of food from the ground below. Children played on the playground nearby, and the blonde could hear their laughter. He then got to thinking... oh how he longed to be a child again, playing happily among the other children. He sighed, looking over to the foutain which was surrounded with pigeons. He remember how him and his younger sister would chase the pigeons around. He laughed a little at the memory.  
"So long ago..." He said, aloud. He stared up at the other branches above him, and the sunshine coming through the holes that the leaves didn't cover.  
"Hey, Joey!" Came a voice below the blonde. He looked down, seeing yet another blonde. The only difference was that, she was a girl. Her hair grew down to about her waist. She had on a pretty skimpy outfit, complete with a purple jacket, and an _extremely_ short purple skirt to match.  
"Hello, Mai." the blonde, Joey replied. He silently went back to staring up at the leaves above him.  
"What are you doing up there?" The other blonde, Mai, asked. Joey sort of shrugged.  
"Relaxing... you?" Joey asked. Mai blinked.  
"Uh... well... I don't really know. I came out for a walk, I guess." Mai replied. She looked up at the sun. "It's pretty hot today, isn't it?" She asked. Joey sighed, turning over, facing the other direction of Mai.  
"Whatever." He replied. He seemed to yawn, and he was silent after that. Mai sighed.  
"Joey, what do you have against me?" Mai asked, in her sweetest tone possible. Joey turned back over, looking down at Mai.  
"I just don't like you." He said. Mai blinked.  
"Come down here." Mai said. Joey sighed. He jumped down.  
"What do you want?" Joey asked. Mai smiled.  
"Let's go do something." She said, with a smile. She took Joey's hand, and started toward the exit of the park. Joey just sort of blinked at her.  
"What?" He asked, not really wanting to go anywhere at the moment.  
"Like a date or something!" Mai exclaimed. She dragged him towards a restaurant. Joey blinked. He really didn't want to go anywhere with Mai. ANYONE but her.  
"Whatever..." Joey said. He followed Mai, but only because she was pulling him. They eventually got to the restaurant, and Mai dragged Joey inside.  
"Table for two, please." Mai said to the guy at the counter. The guy nodded, and a waitress came out.  
"Let me lead you to your table." The waitress said, smiling. She started to walk deeper into the restaurant, and Mai followed, still gripping onto Joey's wrist.  
The waitress stopped at a table next to a window. It had two seats, one across from the other. Mai smiled, and sat on one side, seating Joey on the other. There was a lit candle in the middle of the table. The waitress handed them menus.  
"I'll be back to take your orders shortly." The waitress said. She walked off.  
Joey examined the menu, carefully. Nothing really looked that good. Maybe he'd just get a hamburger or something. Mai looked up at him after examining her menu for a moment.  
"What are you getting?" She asked Joey. Joey looked up at her.  
"Not too sure..." Joey muttered. "Maybe a hamburger... or steak..." He looked back down to the menu, skimming through the orders, again. He looked back up to Mai. "Yeah, I think I'll go with steak." Mai nodded, looking back to her menu.  
"I'll get a salad, and... spagetti, maybe..." Mai said. She continued to examine her menu. Joey set his down, and stared out the window near their table. The light from the candle seemed to make his eyes have a dazed look. Mai happened to look up at him, and see the look he had in his eyes, thanks to the candles. Her violet eyes softened.  
"Joey, are you feeling alright?" Mai asked Joey. Joey looked over, the look in his eyes disappearing.  
"Huh?" he asked. "Oh, yeah." He sort of smiled, but then sighed.  
The waitress eventually came back. She had a pad of paper and a pen in her hand.  
"Are you two ready to order yet?" She asked. Joey nodded, looking up. Mai nodded as well. "Well, what would it be?" the waitress asked.  
"I'll have the steak." Joey said. He didn't smile or anything, and he talked blankly. Mai nodded at Joey's choice.  
"And I'll have spagetti and salad." Mai said. The waitress nodded.  
"We'll have your food shortly." She said. She walked away, and into the kitchen. Joey looked back out the window, silently. Mai looked at him.  
"What's wrong, hun?" She asked. Joey looked over. He sighed.  
"Nothing, nothing..." Joey mumbled. He looked back out the window. The candlelight reflecting off of his face seemed to make him look cute... maybe even sexy. Mai sighed, her violet eyes softening once again. She just sort of stared at Joey, in the way of showing affection.

whoa, whoa, whoa Mai! Keep your mitts OFF of JOEY! mlehh. anyway, read and review. Flames used to burn Kaiba's trench coats, little pieces of Tea's friendship speeches to make them shorter, but still just as meaningful, and Malik's insaneness


	2. Ants?

Okay, I'm sorry that it took forever to put this chapter up, but I was having some problems! This chapter was on my gaia journal and the journals were down like all stinkin' weekend! Gawd! But now I finally have it! Enjoy, the next chapter may be the last!

Joey blinked while staring out the window. He looked at Mai, realizing the way she was looking at him. He sweatdropped, and leaned back, against his chair, so the candlelight wouldn't reflect his face anymore. Mai blinked, snapping out of her daze. She shook her head a little.  
"So, Joey, what have you been doing recently?" Mai asked. Joey sort of shrugged.  
"Nothing, really..." He replied. He looked at the door to the kitchen, hoping that they'd come out with the food soon, that way he could eat and leave.  
"Just sitting around at home?" Mai asked. She shook her head. "You should really get outside more." Joey sighed, looking back at Mai.  
"Why do you care if I get enough outside time or not? It's not like it really matters. When I go with Yugi and the gang to play games at the arcade we usually are out in daylight for a while. Not only that, but you just found me outside in a tree. I think that shows that I get outside a lot." Joey said, in defense. Mai blinked.  
"I guess you're smarter than I thought." She laughed. Joey rolled his eyes, then went back to being silent.  
The waitress soon came, two plates in her hands. She set the salad and spagetti in front of Mai, and the steak in front of Joey. Mai smiled.  
"Is there any dressing?" Mai asked. The waitress nodded, handing Mai a bottle of ranch dressing. Mai frowned at it. "I really don't like ranch... but I guess it's alright." She started to lather her salad in the white dressing. Joey started to cut into his steak, watching Mai.  
Mai took her fork, and put it in the salad. She got some lettuce, and put it in her mouth, and ate.  
"Mmm... this is pretty good!" Mai exclaimed. She continued to eat her salad. Joey watched her. He looked down at her salad, and realized... the little black things were moving!!! His eyes went wide.  
"Erm, Mai..." Joey said, setting his fork down. Mai looked at him, putting another fork full of salad in her mouth. "I don't know if you realized this, but... your dressing is... well, moving." Mai looked down at her plate. She watched, carefully. Soon her eyes went wide.  
"THEY'RE ANTS!!!!" She screamed, standing. "THERE ARE ANTS IN MY SALAD!!!!!!!!!!" She then got a sick look on her face, and ran off. Joey blinked, watching. People were staring at him now.  
"Erk..." He mumbled. He continued to eat his steak, and finished half of it. Since more people were starting to stare at him, he started to get a little nervous. He eventually finished his steak, and looked around, mainly for Mai. He eventually spotted her, talking to somebody who seemed to be the manager or something. He sweatdropped.  
"I think I'll uh..." He mumbled. He slowly stood, and crept towards the door. Mai spotted him.  
"Joey! Where do you think you're going!" She called. Joey sweatdropped, not wanting to be spotted like this. Mai walked over to him. "I need your help to shut this place down!! I mean, ants in the dressing?! UCK!!" Mai exclaimed Joey sighed, shaking his head, thinking,  
'Why do I even bother?'

Please, review!!


	3. MAGGOTS!

Okay, chapter three! The last one! Yeah, I know you wanted more, but this is the best I can do! I hope you like it! -

"Please, ma'am, return to your seats and I promise I'll refund your money. You can have the rest of your dinner for free," the manager assured Mai. Mai nodded, sighing.

"Come on, Joey," she grabbed his wrist and dragged him back to their table. Joey let out a silent moan. Yeah, I know that sounds wierd, but he did.

Mai sat down at her side, and Joey sat down on the other. Mai angrily started to eat her spagetti, and Joey watched.

"What?" She asked, looking at him. Joey shook his head.

"Nothing, it's just I have nothing to eat..." Mai sighed.

"Here, have some spagetti," she pushed the plate towards him. Joey looked at it for a moment.

Did he see what he thought he saw?

"Er, no thanks Mai. You can eat your own spagetti," Mai nodded, sighing. She pulled the plate back to herself and continued eating.

"Actually, this is kind of good. A lot better than normal spagetti. I wonder what they do with it..." she ate bite after bite.

Joey watched, in an almost disgusted state. It wasn't too fun to watch Mai eat.

Suddenly, he saw it. He stared at her spagetti plate. It snapped into his head.

Maggots.

Maggots in her spagetti. Joey supressed laughter.

"Hey, uh, Mai?" Joey asked. Mai looked up at him. "Do you _like_ that spagetti? I mean like, _really, really_ like it?"

Mai nodded.

"It's great! It's almost ten times better than anything else I've eaten!" Joey suppressed more laughter.

"Suit yourself, then," he turned his face to hide the disgusted smirk creeping over his lips. Soon, the manager walked up to the two. Joey was still suppressing laughter.

"Um, ma'am?" The manager asked, watching Mai eat. Mai set her fork down, and dabbed her lips with a napkin.

She looked sooo stupid.

"Yes?" she replied, looking to the manager.

"Ma'am, we have found that all of your food has been tampered with. Even your spagetti. I'm afraid I'll have to take it,"

Mai's violet eyes turned to saucers in a matter of seconds.

"What's wrong with it?!" the manager nodded.

"That, ma'am, is what we have to find out. Please, feel free to stay here until we have found out what it is," Mai nodded, her face now pale as if she'd seen a ghost. Joey could only suppress laughter.

"Joey... I might die..." Mai whispered. The look on her face. Priceless. Joey almost busted out laughing, but avoided it, somehow. Mai reached forward, grabbing Joey's hand, and pulling towards her. She clasped her hands around his.

"Joey, stay with me... stay with me until they find out what's wrong with my spagetti..." Joey quickly pulled his hand away.

"Uggh! Okay, okay, I'll stay! But you don't have to touch me!" He had to turn away for a moment to keep himself from cracking up.

"Hey, uh, Mai? I'm gunna... go to the bathroom real quick, okay? Okay thanks," he turned around and was off. Mai watched him, fear swimming in her violet eyes.

Joey ran into the bathroom, and burst out laughing. He couldn't hold it in anymore. The look on Mai's face-the fact that she had been eating maggots-all too hilarious! Maybe he was glad that Mai dragged him here! He got to watch her get humiliated! Ha! This was just too great!

Joey soon came back to the table and sat.

"Well, Mai? Have they found out what it was yet?" Joey asked, looking at her.

Her head was low. She slowly shook it. She looked up at Joey, tears in her eyes.

Joey rolled his.

She got up and walked around to his side.

"Joey, if I die tonight, I'm sorry. And here's a gift," He blinked, his head turned towards her, his chocolate eyes dully looking at her face. She came forward and kissed the blonde. His chocolate eyes twisted to horror. He quickly, and easily, broke away from Mai's kiss.

"Uggh! Jeez, woman! You want to kill me?!" Mai gasped, putting her hands over her mouth.

"Oh my-! That's right! I might have poisoned you too! Joey hun, I'm so sorry!" She went and sat back down.

"Sure poisoned me alright," Joey mumbled, wiping off his lips. "Wish I had a tooth brush," he mumbled.

"What was that, Joey?" Mai asked. Joey smiled his trademark smile.

"Nothing, nothing, don't worry,"

The manager soon came back, and almost disgusted look on her face.

Once again, Joey had to suppress laughter.

"Um, ma'am?" she asked Mai. Mai looked up at her.

"I'm going to die, aren't I?" She asked. The manager shook her head.

"Ma'am, _maggots_ were found in your spagetti,"

Mai's face twisted into shock, horror, disgust, and sourness, immediately.

"WHAT??!!!"

Joey looked at the floor, a smirk growing on his face. This was too good. Hilarious.

"I am honestly sorry, ma'am," the manager stated. "You may have a free dinner if you'd like,"

Mai quickly shook her head.

"No way! I am NEVER eating here EVER again! Joey, come on!" She started to the door.

"Er, Mai, let me stay here and... uh... talk to this person for you, I'll take care of everything. I'll make her renew our money and everything. We can go on another date sometime," Joey smiled. Mai nodded. She stormed out.

Joey and the manager burst into laughter. Joey looked up at her. (A/N: Yes, the manager is a she. I know I didn't mention it earlier, but yeh)

"Man, that was too good," Joey laughed. The manager nodded.

"What was that about going to another restaurant, Joey?" She asked. Joey laughed, nodding.

"Oh, it'll be great! We can eat more bugs! And not notice them and say that they're delicious!" Joey laughed. The manager nodded, laughing harder.

"Tea, you gotta help me again! We'll get her better next time!" Joey laughed.

XD Yes!! The Manager WAS Tea!! XD I loved it, I don't know about you, but I loved it! That was the last chapter, indeed. But, now I wish to announce: There will be a SEQUAL! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!

But the sequal won't come until I'm a lot farther on all of my other stories, so this one's frozen for now. Hope you loved it! -lopsided grin-


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